Wednesday, October 26, 2011

All that I've got

Public holidays lose their thrill and magic with each year. It could have been any other day, except I woke up to a cold morning way too early. Today was also one of those days that I just wanted to be, anywhere but here. But then again, I don't even know what here refers to.

Being single means I only have one life to live and think for. I want to live for me, but that me is again inextricably tied to the very thing I want to be independent from. Everything is right except me.

I have no good reply to anything.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Been kinda busy lately with work, school and trying to have a life. Sleep evades me constantly. I have no new cool pictures for a decent blog post so here are the way overdue Bangkok pictures! It was nothing short of amazing.

Ju's advanced birthday dinner at Paramount later. I have no clothes but peking duck here I come.

Sunday, October 2, 2011


Weekends always have a funny way of getting under my skin. I don't know if it's the time of the week where (by default) I'd have alcohol expectations, or the haphazard dinners, or the hopeless napping.

It always comes down to this. Every Sunday it all comes crashing down and I realize that magic is not real and neither is this, this is not feasible, most of all I have been deluding myself thinking that I am truly happy.

I tried thinking about happy moments but I find myself struggling with my reasons for recording and representing these parts of my life. If no representation is ever truthful, my words and expressions are finite, and even if I pen it down these thoughts fight to leave my mind unless I re-read them, then why do I bother? My memory is a broken sieve, some times it frustrates me to no end.

I wish I knew what I was looking for.